Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”
I don’t like failure, it is not something that comes naturally to me. I always felt a bit of a big fish in a small pond, never quite challenged enough to really consider it all much of a task to meet expectations placed on me. I suppose that is a good thing for a while, never having to disappoint one’s self or others for failure after failure. But then again, maybe it is just the story I’ve told myself to cover over the memories that were blurred over with time and substance.
I’ve been jobless for almost four months now. While I did accomplish some, the gains are not tenable for much longer. I have a home I love and feel comfortable in. I have a city that is walkable and connected to the country’s mass transit all while close to the beach. But the job market just isn’t what I need.
So it is time to admit it frankly. I have failed in my move to the north; time to try something new. This coming week I’ll be going down south to see about one possible job and just to get a sense of the feeling of being back in the far south again. If that doesn’t work, I have one very solid offer to have yet another life-restart out in California.
But I have to do something. My self confidence took a huge hit again and came along with his friend depression. The fact that I didn’t have a job and therefore no reason to leave the house means I have been inside for days on end only leaving to buy more tobacco and groceries. I’ve gone back on some meds that have been helping but now I need to actually restart living life. Let’s hope that a new location can help that.
I should have an idea as to which plan I’ll be working on by the end of the week. Either the far south of Israel or a new life in CA…